Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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