i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
