"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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