I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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