Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
