oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
