she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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