she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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