You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
