Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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