i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
