i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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