It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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