Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
