Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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