No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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