ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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