She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
