come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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