"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
