Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
