I molested 6 butterflies tonight
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Rumble strips road head = magical
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize