I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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