Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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