I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
