Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
