This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
