Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
