hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize