yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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