I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
