maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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