Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
