You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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