some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
