Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
