hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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