I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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