I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
