So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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