As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
