Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
