I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
