she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
