So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
