why didn't you poke me back
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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