hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We are two peas in an std pod
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
