i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
