this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
