Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
