Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
