...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just blew my weed a kiss
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize