Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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