Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need moral support for this bender
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
