Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
